The past few days I've had heavy cramping and increased bleeding/clots. I was hoping that it was because my blood levels were getting so low that my body is finally getting back to normal. Guess not. Not really sure what it means. The not knowing is what drives you nuts because you don't know if what you're experiencing is okay or if you should be concerned. They always give you the same answer: if you are soaking an entire pad every 1-2 hours, that is too much. Well, it's not that much, but what is normal? I wish they would do studies and document it so that woman could gauge their symptoms across general trends in women instead of having to call the on-call residents who sound annoyed that they were interrupted for such stupid questions.
So, let's think about the numbers and get some hypotheticals.
If all I have is a 27% drop each week from now on, it will take 14 weeks to get down to negative. That puts us in the middle of July 2012. I'm assuming that I will not start to have a real period until these HCGs go negative, so give myself a week or two to start after that. Then I have to have 2 periods before trying to conceive. The soonest I could potentially conceive would be beginning of September 2012. Considering it typically happens within 3 months for me, the more likely date would be mid to late November 2012. Now, lets assume this pregnancy actually takes and is not a complete disaster. That puts me having my first kid in late August 2013. I would be 29 1/2 years old.
Let's be more positive about this now and assume this was just an off week. If I have a 50% drop each week from now on, it will take 7 weeks to get to negative, which is around the end of May 2012. Give me a couple weeks for a period to start and then add another cycle, the soonest I could start trying to conceive would be late July 2012. Again, if it takes 3 months like usual, we're looking at late June 2013 before a little Kuck comes around.
Again, this is all assuming somewhat of a happy path (though the ultimate happy path is that in the next two weeks this blood draw thing is over...). It could take 6 months to conceive. I could have a few miscarriages along the way. Who in their right mind knows?
So, I guess we have at least another year of paying down the house aggressively. If I'm good, maybe I can chop off 50% of our remaining balance by the time a baby is born. I wish I got paid more! As much as I like paying down my house so that I can reach the Dave Ramsey baby step 7 "Build Wealth & Give", I would much rather have a child. I knew I shouldn't have told God that if He helped us get rid of our mortgage, I'd give back to His service! He took me way too seriously! (Seriously, though. That is one of my life goals to give to others in need. I've been the recipient of so much generosity, I would like to bless others in the same way!).
Final thought: my husband and I never fully agreed on how many kids we wanted to have. He wanted 2 or 3 and I wanted 4 or 5. I've told him since all this started a few years ago that for every year we are married without children, I get to have a kid. We are up to 5!
I want kids, God! Thy will, not mine be done!
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I did end up calling the nurse last night and shared with her my symptoms. I couldn't take it any longer because all I could think about was "What if I'm getting ready to hemorrhage?". The bleeding just looks more like bleeding than a period, and reminded me of what things looked like close to when I did start hemorrhaging after my molar.
So, per the nurse and the doctor, the thought is that this could be a period. I asked if it was possible to have a period this soon when my levels are still positive. She said yes. So, if that is true, this ranks up with one of the weirdest periods I've ever had in my 18 years of perioding. These cramps are stronger than any cramps I've had in the last 5 years. But, if this IS a period, then maybe this will help my trends out immensely and I could potentially start trying sooner? We shall see.